One of the main reasons behind me creating my blog was to express my thoughts and feelings. Having a traumatic birth experience has affected me and writing has helped. The doctors said the birth was very rare so, I wanted to speak about it for those who may have experienced it.
Disclaimer: I am going to speak about my birth here and it’s quite traumatic.
I created a birth plan and really wanted a water birth. I visualised how I wanted to give birth and thought about it quite frequently to help prepare. I also read some hypnobirthing books to help relax and prepare whilst also learning new techniques to help with labour. None of what I wanted actually happened though…
Whilst pregnant, I was so excited for the moment I first saw my baby and the feeling of having my own little son. I would always say the pain of labour would be worth it when I get to hold my son when he’s born and have skin to skin. However, this didn’t go to plan.
When the Little Fella was born, the midwife passed me my son and within a few minutes I asked my boyfriend to take him. I was being sick and the doctor was pressing heavily on my stomach.
I asked for the injection for the removal of the placenta and this was delivered around 30 minutes later, however, when I gave birth to the placenta, the doctor realised a piece was missing.
I was losing a lot of blood which they couldn’t stop, I had numerous injections to help but it didn’t. I was experiencing a uterus inversion – my womb was turning inside out and coming out of my body so, the emergency button was pressed and the room was full with doctors, midwifes etc. The main doctor tried to get my womb back into position and when she got it to a sufficient place I was rushed into theatre. I didn’t even know what was going on and when I was getting asked questions and to sign a form I then started questioning it. When I was told the what the worst case sceneries was I didn’t fully understand the severity and was quite chilled out about it all. In theatre, I had a rasch balloon inserted to put my womb back into place and they also stopped the bleeding.
I really didn’t want to have an epidural but during labour I just shouted out I needed it and I honestly think it was a sign. When the main doctor arrived the first question she asked was have I had an epidural, having the epidural meant she could immediately start sorting out my inversion. Although at first I was gutted I had the epidural, thinking back I am so glad I did as I was prepared and ready for all that happened.
When I woke up after surgery, the first thing I did was be sick and then I asked about my son and my family. I wanted to go and see them!
My mum and boyfriend was finding the whole experience upsetting and didn’t know what was going on. Once I was out of theatre, the doctors spoke to my parents and boyfriend and explained everything that had happened.
I didn’t see my son for the first 4/5 hours of his life. This is what upsets me the most!!
When I finally got back to the room with my baby, I can remember the midwife saying ‘shall we see what your baby weighs’, it was the best feeling in the world knowing my boyfriend asked them to wait until I was there and I didn’t miss out on it. I can remember feeling a little bit upset though as my family was guessing his weight and as I didn’t have a proper hold I felt I couldn’t guess.
I stayed in hospital for 5 days after giving birth to the Little Fella. For the first 24 hours I had to stay in bed as I had the rasch balloon and a catheter. Once the rasch balloon was removed I was abit more mobile, however, I didn’t have much energy to do much walking and was very dizzy and light headed.
I was getting observed every hour and having blood tests to check my iron levels. I lost a total of 2.8 litres of blood and needed two blood transfusions.
I had two big needles in my hands and couldn’t pick my son up, this upset me so much. It was so hard not being able to pick up my baby and give him a big cuddle when I wanted to. Even when I did hold him, I could properly and others had to put him in my arms and put him in an comfortable position.
The doctors and midwives said what happened to me was very rare but what scares me that having a uterus inversion is life threatening – I think about this a lot. I feel so grateful for every day I spend with my son and I make sure I never take for granted what the doctors and midwives did for me.
When I was leaving the hospital I can just remember thinking I never ever thought my birth would be like it was or I would be leaving the hospital with a bag full of injections and numerous medications.
5 months later and I still think about the birth every day, sometimes it keeps me awake at night and I cannot go to sleep. At the beginning, I would think about it non-stop – I was scared incase I forgot anything and would replay everything that happened in my head to ensure I could remember everything about the Little Fella.
What was your birth experience?